What a sad business, being funny!

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Your level of intelligence is my common sense.
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Ohh my friend…Go buy a brain.
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Life is hard; It’s harder if you’re stupid.
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Wake up the sleepyhead before I drag you out of bed. Have a great morning ahead dear friend.
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If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.
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It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.
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Karma bus delayed due to high demand. No worries. It’s coming.
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Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.
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Dear karma, please be punctual.
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Karma has no problem getting back in touch with you when need be.
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I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it.
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My dream job would be driving the karma bus.
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Karma never loses an address.
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I’m going to sit back and laugh when karma punches you in the face.
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Karma’s just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says, she’ll be with you shortly.
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Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
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When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I wanna be there just in case it needs help.
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Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.
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It’s ok to miss people but don’t ever forget why they aren’t in your life.
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Revenge? Naaah…I’m too lazy. I’m gonna sit here and let karma f*ck you up.