You say I’m dirty minded…But how did you understand what I meant??
All my life I thought air was free…until I bought a pack of chips.
Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.
Never ever do business with the government. Be in love with them, never marry them.
To do a great right do a little wrong.
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.
If you are in a poker game and after 20 minutes you don’t know who the patsy is, then you’re the patsy.
I think that we all do heroic things, but hero is not a noun, it’s a verb.
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I forgot to remember to forget.
Think about yourself at least once in your life otherwise you may miss the best comedy in this world.
One murder makes a villain, millions a hero. Numbers sanctify.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.
I will choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the former.
How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.